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Friday, November 11, 2011

When an Urbanite Intrude the Village - Part I

After a very long pause, finally I made myself to start blogging again. Realizing that human tend to lost the momentum once they stop engaging in something for too long. Striving so hard, I beat down the lazy worm which crept in my heart and decide to write this post.

Ok, back to the topic. I completed the clinical part of medicine, and currently attending a social work, namely --> Pre-Graduate Course (PGC). Participating in this PGC is a MUST for all the medical students in this university. PGC is a community/public-health care program, where all the students will be allocated to different village of a particular state - Kintamani, identifying the major problem in the village, stay with them and give them a helping hand to achieve not only about health, but biologically-psychologically-socially better life.

When i first heard about these, my reflex is like "WHhhhat ??? Village again ???" No matter you willing or not, all of us must follow this program. This program last for 5 weeks. 

1st week - briefing about this program and training regarding the disaster emergency life support. I like the training, it was pretty cool !! one of the doctor who taught us had the experience of saving people life in Israel War. Really salute him, what a great experience he gained !!

2nd - 4th week - Is here to telling you about my "kampung" life or we should said "back to the nature" life or "back to ancient" life ?? 

5th week - Report and presentation.

So now, here we go....



After a 2 hours journey by riding the motor bike, we reached there finally ! the village ( Manikliyu Village) located at the hill, the air was fresh and cool, during the night it was brooded by the heavy mist.

The picture below is the 1st place where we supposed to stay, the environment is indeed a little bit "uh-hum".

Our mind flooded with the same thought --> how about we just go to stay in a hotel nearby ?





 This is the Manikliyu Village Assembly Hall
that equally "uh-hum" too.








This is the toilet which provided






Maybe our "uh-hum" and all those complains was too loud and it spread to the head of the village. He arranged another better refuge for us. At last, we stay in the villagers' house, we call him as "pak De". Pak De and his family are hospitable, he gave out his son's and a guest room for us to stay. Although it looked abit dirty and dusty, but i would like to say, Thankyou God, We are so BLESSED. Comparing to other friends from the other village, this is one of the best retreat i could said.

The following picture is the front side view of the room, a small hut, a small pond, and Pak De's 4-wheel Rocky !!



Pak De fetched us by using his Rocky  roaming around the plantation. He owns four plantations and harvest twice a year.



The source of water supply and the hygiene of the toilet are the primary problem of the village. Chronically, they do not have a proper piping system, and the source of water rely on the rain. The thing that often drag my head off everyday was the cleanliness of the toilet !!! I have to withstand the "cleanliness" of the toilet each time doing showering. The lack of awareness is the thing that we need to take note and educate them. Food-borne and water-borne disease often rooted from here.




Apart from those i mentioned above, it is a down-to-earth approach to experience the tranquility and serenity of village life, a good escape from hustle-bustle of the city life !!!



They lead rather a simple life over here, arise at 5 in the morning, go to the estate at 7am. Come home at 5pm and rest at 9pm. We have nothing much to do there, mostly morning activities, and therefore we also adapting ourselves to their life. I break my record, I ever slept at 8pm !!! Can't believe it !!!









The villagers told us that they only eat the chicken that they rear by themselves. Usually it took 6-8 months for the chicken to grow big enough to be slaughtered. I have a chance to witness the process of a chicken get slaughtered, although it was not the first time i witness something like this, yet the high-pitched sound of the chicken's screaming still spook me much.






One of those day, Pak De ferried us to a river nearby and ask whether we bring shampoo along. A question mark crop up --> why we need to bring shampoo along ? After asking further, we turned into shock, OMG !!! He was expecting us to take bath in the river !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course, we wouldn't want to take bath in the river. We just playing water beside the river and “enjoying" the scene of some naked show. Hahaha...!!!







Another thing i would like to share is the term "NGIDU". Pak De's wife taught us the word. People staying on the hill in order to gain warm by burning the firewood in the night, and by putting hands near the firewood called --> Ngidu. 

Pak De's Wife is a superb nice lady, she work from morning to the night. ( Even more hardworking then her husband... kekeke.) She boils water for us to drink every morning and evening, off to farm, cooks meals, doing household, all by herself. She cooked something called Bubur Sago for us to try. Erm... a bit salty for me, but i still want to send my greatest gratitude to her. She really so lovely......


We really spend a great time there...

We were tasting the "bubur Sago" while enjoying "Ngidu" with the "Ibu".







Everyday comes to the afternoon, we will go to the tourist spot nearby --> The famous Kintamani Volcano. It just 15 minutes driving and we hunt for some good food. We try different restaurants, different buffet everyday, and it indeed wear off my pocket and make me put on weight as well. >.<"""
Guess my parents going to kill me.... LOL










Well, guess it is lengthy enough, I should end my 1st part, hope you are not falling asleep. =P

2nd part coming soon. =)

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

时代不同

80 年代的我们,小时候与堂兄弟姐妹最爱玩的就是 "masak-masak" (家家饭)。
新世纪的小孩们最爱的是什么呢?

上个星期飞回大马度假与亲戚们聚餐时,见到我们的“下一代”聚在一起玩的是--> iPad.
眼见四,五岁的小孩们手上拿的不是玩具,而是 iPad !!
你看,他们还认真讨论起玩电子游戏的策略呢!
看看他们那么认真专注的眼神,还有“废寝忘食”的态度,可见 iPad 或是 Tablet 的魔力是多么的利害 !!


我们这一般 80 年代的“长辈们” 只能感叹
时代不同啦!!!
不知Toy'Rus 会不会生意越来越差呢? 呵呵。。。


上个星期天在机场 等候中途专机时,看见别人的小孩也玩着 iPad ! 
真是 iPad 横行的时代了!


。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。


第一天从假期回来开工就要站岗了,站岗完毕的第二天清晨刚好是假期,没有早上的值班。。
心里直呼太棒了!!!
下班后与朋友到麦当劳吃早餐。。。
我们可说是麦当劳的第一位客人,看见早晨的太阳照耀着大地,加上站岗完毕。。。 
心情愉悦极了!!!


唯一让人扫兴的是原来在岜厘岛麦当劳白咖啡竟然是  -->  Black Coffee + dairy milk ????
他们应该真正去了解什么是真正的白咖啡!! 而不是随便加了一些 Dairy milk 就叫做白咖啡。。。 真是我的天哪~~~~ 打烂麦当劳的名誉!  >.<"""









Sunday, August 21, 2011

Bali Airport : The Boarding Lounge

This is what happened in Bali Airport Boarding Lounge on 20 August 2011 when i was flying back to Malaysia for 1 week holiday.

We called it a "lounge" but sarcastically, NO place to sit.. I saw the westerners just sit on the floor dis-pleasingly.
At first, i quite resist to sit on the floor, but after a 15 minutes of standing, i just gave up and sit on the floor, waiting the time to board. 


15 minutes later, few tourists who came from China ( how i know they came from China ? from their strong accent of mandarin ) stepped forward to the security counter and complained. 
"It's only 8.30 pm, and the departure time is 9.30 pm, how can you let us sit on the floor for an hour ? why don't just let us wait inside ?"


Finally, after a 10 minutes of negotiating, the security guide allowed us to enter and wait...
Awww... what a day ? 
It's a shame for Bali Airport while they made the tourists forced to sit on the floor.

Why things always need to complain only improved ? They should take it into consideration before it happened, moreover, Bali is world's well-known tourist spot, Don't do such stupid mistake !!
Is kind of sad while i heard alot of friend complaining about Bali's service and everything after they had their vacation there.
 

Sometimes, 
Expecting too high Brings Disappointment



做一天的人类灵魂工程师

大家好,真的是好久没更新我的部落格了。不是很忙,只是很懒。 =P
这次想跟大家分享我在四月份医学实习时的乡下服务。
这次乡下服务的地点位于 Kerambitan,Bali. 我们的目标是 --> Sekolah Dasar Timpag ( Timpag 小学)
我这次的任务就是教导这般小学同学关于急救的基本常识。

首先,我和我的一组朋友一起制作了一些关于急救的 小册子, 原来制作一本小册子是那么艰难的,而且我们也需要确定所记载在这本小册子的咨询时正确的,以便可以传授正确的知识给这些小朋友们。

我们用 slide show 的方式先解释一遍给小朋友们听。


然后,我们还出了考试题测试小朋友们的了解能力
如果他们有疑问,还可以上前来问我哦!! 

我们还为了奖励这些小朋友们,自讨腰包准备了一些小礼物。

经过了slide show presentation 以及简单的测试题,当然是开始实习啦!!
这些小朋友们都纷纷举手抢先学习的机会,让我真的很开心!!!



大约中午十二时,终于完成了历时三个小时的教书过程。
当然要来一张大合照 以做纪念,这是我第一次担当人类灵魂工程师的角色,而且又是在岜离岛,这样的经验是第一次,也有可能是最后一次,所以我觉得特别有意思。



最让人又气又好笑的就是小朋友们的调皮,看看以上的照片就知道了!!


除此之外,我们也在这乡村里提供老人家一些简单的医疗服务,测量他们的血压以及提供一些医药的知识以及供应。其实很同情这些乡村里的住户,由于他们的住处离城市遥远,加上没有交通工具,很多乡里的人就这样离开了这个世界。他们就是被医药服务忽略的一群,我觉得那天过得分外有意义。

回家的路途中,不忘了在沿路上留影。。。蓝蓝的天空,绿油油的稻田。。。这就是大自然最棒的风景了!


后记:
第一次担任人类灵魂工程师,还蛮好玩的!也开始了解为何老师们可以那么的伟大,还有老师们那么热忱于教育界。就比如说我的妈妈好了,她是一名教师,自小我都不明白为何她总是为小学同学们大动肝火,原来是真的是在乎他们在学业上的进步才如此懊恼,我时常都觉得她自找的辛苦,呵呵。。。 虽然如此,她还是时常鼓励我长大后选择做老师,她一直都跟我说做老师多好多好,我都不以为然,最后选择了做医生。

直到这次的乡下服务,我终于尝试到做老师的成就感,尤其是当你解说后,看到他们有明显的进步,那种成就感不会在医治好病人的成就感之下!!!妈妈,以及各位老师们,我敬佩您们!

最近看到报纸说大马要大量栽培新一代的人类灵魂工程师,希望不是空穴之谈。希望真的可以好好造就下一代,懂得欣赏以及珍惜人才,这样国家才会进步。(这是我在印尼就读后,深深体会的。。不是践踏这国家,只是这里好的教授实在少之又少。。。不好的老师,真的会教导出不好的学生,不好的学生又怎么能使国家进步呢?) 所以老师真的扮演这举足轻重的角色。

人们都说,当你越老了就会越像你们的父母亲,我开始慢慢体会到了,我对这般学生们还蛮苛刻地(就像我的妈妈一样 =P),尤其是在实习的时候,当小朋友们做得差不多“有模有样”了,我的朋友就“放过"了他们,而我就是那个反对放过他们的讨厌鬼。。哈哈。。。我会要求他们重来直到他们真正的了解后,我才肯放过他们。那些小同学都说我很 "galak" (凶的意思),当然之后我还是会与他们打成一片以避免他们真的“讨厌”我。。。 =)

有时候,真的觉得 Everything happen for a reason, 如果不是老天爷的安排,让政府派我到这里求学,我就无法体会乡下如此的生活,一开始真的很不习惯这里的一切,看到这里落伍的一切真的很令人沮丧。。日子久了,就会觉得 Everything happen for a reason..没有这些苦日子,我就不会珍惜现在所拥有的一切。




Thursday, July 7, 2011

想你的100天

你在的时候
100 天里 也许只想你 一两天
你不在了
我天天都想你, 想你 100 天
你在的时候
你想尽100个办法捉住我的手
我却想尽100个办法如何松开你的手
你不在了
想你的时候 只能捉住空气

在天上的您现在想着谁?
有没有和我同样的感觉?
惊觉后才知道原来没有办法再挽回。。。

我天天都温习我们的回忆一百遍,
我想捉住我和您之间仅仅地回忆,
深怕会有那么一天,
我会忘了

您慈祥的脸孔
您温暖的双手
您唠叨的声音
您蹒跚的脚步


还有我最想念的
您那
一点点驼背的背影 
.........................................................................................






Saturday, June 11, 2011

Total Eclipse of the Heart



Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart


每当我很骄傲地站在台上演讲
台下却看不到你的影子
每当被赞美时
多希望你可以在台下见证这美好的一刻
你却都不在
承诺随着时间被遗忘
心里的那小小希望越来越渺小
。。。渺小得都不敢再次渴求你会出现。。。




Sunday, May 8, 2011

真的爱你,母亲节快乐!

献给您,黄家驹的这首歌 - 真的爱你!
第一次真正体会这首歌的歌词,听了这首歌那么久,才第一次发现原来这首歌是写给母亲的。
谢谢您妈妈, 常常教我坚毅望着前路, 叮嘱我跌倒不应放弃。。。。 谢谢您。

Click the picture if the picture is not moving. 
My first attempt to create a *gif* picture. 
Thanks to Ayumi who taught me this. 



无法可修饰的一对手
带出温暖永远在背后
总是罗嗦始终关注
不懂珍惜太内疚
沉醉于音阶她不赞赏
母亲的爱却永远未退让
决心冲开心中挣扎
亲恩终可报答

春风化雨暖透我的心
一生眷顾无言地送赠
是你多么温馨的目光
教我坚毅望着前路
叮嘱我跌倒不应放弃
没法解释怎可报尽亲恩

爱意宽大是无限
请准我说声真的爱你



无法可修饰的一对手
带出温暖永远在背后
总是罗嗦始终关注
不懂珍惜太内疚
仍记起温馨的一对手
始终给我照顾未变样

理想今天终于等到
分享光辉盼做到
春风化雨暖透我的心
一生眷顾无言地送赠
是你多么温馨的目光
教我坚毅望着前路
叮嘱我跌倒不应放弃
没法解释怎可报尽亲恩
爱意宽大是无限
请准我说声真的爱你

妈妈,这是我 edit 给您的“母亲节卡”, 希望您会喜欢。选来选去,我又选回之前的照片,还是最喜欢这张照片。 等我毕业回来,一定要拍更多的合照哦。。。。您别再逃掉。。。呵呵。。。

祝您
母亲节快乐

!!!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Live to the FULLEST


"Don't be annoyed by the negative thoughts-
regret for the past and fear for the future.
it's a waste of lifetime by thinking so.
live in current & live it to the fullest!!
You are always the best to us in the way you are"


Thanks my dear friend for the encouragement

I'm very good at the moment
and
will always be good


Pick up the good one
Discard the bad one
and live to the fullest ~!!!!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

离别

三月二十日 早晨九时三十分

不知不觉短短五天的丧礼就这么一眨眼地过去了。
此刻的我独自一人坐在 Starbucks 咖啡厅一人,等待 11.50am 飞往岜离岛的班机。

经历了阿麽的丧礼后,我对丧礼有了另一番体会。
以前的我觉得主办丧礼的意义就是怀念先人或是纪念离世的人的一种仪式。
现在的我了解到除此之外,还有另一个意义--〉就是可以让后代们集聚一堂。

经过这四天短短的相处,我们亲戚之间的感情更上一层楼,更加了解彼此的境况,而且还有更多的时间让我们大家放下手头上所有恼人的工作以及一切事物,出席阿麽的丧礼大家集聚一堂。

一年没见的三叔,两年没见的堂哥,三年没见的表哥,四面没见的堂妹,五年没见的堂姐
还有一些堂哥堂姐们或是其它亲戚们,是的,农历华人新年当然有会面,但是大家都是来去匆匆,谈不上十句话。我已无法说出最后一次我们是好像这过去四天这样人人到起,好好坐下从早上聊到晚上,互相关心,互相说笑,追思礼时一起哀悼,一起流泪。。。。

我很赞同也很感谢主对于我三舅说的一句话,“其实我们家庭真的很好,很幸运,现在的社会很少大家庭向我们这样,即使各分东西了,还是能一样互相关心,和睦共处。真的很感谢主。”

回想这四天的点点滴滴,
与堂表姐们互相倾谈心事,分享这些年的起起落落
第一次发现原来我的大堂哥是那么的幽默,一直说笑话,逗大家乐开怀
第一次真正记得我的堂哥堂姐孩子的名字,Ashley, Nicholas, Jonas, Shawn etc... 以前的我从岜离岛假期回来,看见他们一次,就问一次,你的孩子叫什么名啊? 看见孩子们,三四岁,蹦蹦跳跳的,在家里的楼梯爬上又爬下。。。心里感触不已,曾经何时,我们这几位堂兄弟姐妹也好像他们一样,打打闹闹的,为何长大后大家竟变成陌生了?

虽然背着丧失了阿麽的痛,但是这几天我们除了忧伤,也很开心,我们真的很团结,一起准备阿麽的身后事,肚子饿了,我们会互相轮流出去买外卖给大家吃,还问及了大家最喜欢的饮品是什么?最爱的本地美食是什么?
一起喝珍珠奶茶,一起吃红豆冰,一起去超级市场买蔬菜水果,一起吃laksa,一起吃薄饼,一起唱诗,一起哀悼,一起赞美主,一起追思婆婆。。。这一切一切,我都会永永远远把它烙在心里面。

我也真诚的祷告,虽然婆婆不在世了,但是我真的很希望以后的日子,我们这大家庭还可以聚在一起畅谈,感受一下大家庭和睦共处,互相关心的温馨时刻。

这张照片是我们其中几位堂兄弟姐妹们的合影。
一定要笑得开心,我想信婆婆在天堂看到我们这样,也会感到欣慰。


。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

同一天 十一时五十分

坐在飞机里,耳朵响起飞机引擎准备起飞的声音,一直以来我都很喜欢飞机起飞的感觉,一直都很佩服 飞机的发明,一个交通工具怎么可以在空中翱翔。今天是我人生中第一次对飞机起飞的感觉感到厌恶,不怎么地,我。。。哭了。。。看着窗外,飞机慢慢离开地平线,看着大马的土地离我越来越远,越来越远。。。然后,云朵把我的视线给遮掩了。。。这片土地越来越模糊,飞机冲进了大地层,在我眼前只剩下一片白白的天空。我的眼泪不停的流,真的很不舍得婆婆。。。手中握着婆婆送我的手巾,一直挪去脸上的泪水。我很想渲泄心中的痛,于是就随手从书包里掏出一本书与笔写道 ,

“今天我飞回岜离岛, 以前都会有一个人牵住我的手不舍得我走,
然后我就会说,阿婆,再见了; 如今这个人走了,再也见不到了,
我会永远怀念您,我最亲爱的婆婆。
20/03/2011 ”

拟干眼角的泪水,跟自己说,我只允许自己哭到今天,过后的日子不准再哭了。婆婆不会想看到我们这样的,婆婆只是去到另外一个天堂,与公公,姑姑相会了,那里充满了喜乐。。。在婆婆离世的那一刻,有四代同堂陪伴在身边,上天真的很眷顾我们了。所以我们应该要快乐,应该要满足,感恩。

至亲爱的爸爸,我知道您最疼爱婆婆了,请您不要再伤心,您伤心,我也会替您心疼。爸爸您要开开心心的过日子,恢复以往整天笑容挂在嘴边的爸爸。我昨天梦见了婆婆,她说她在天堂过得很好,又可以跟公公和婆婆最挂念的姑姑在一起,我们应该要感谢主,替婆婆感到欣慰。
爸爸,笑吧,ok? =)

而我,要学习回归现实,回到实习医学生的生活,在小儿科部门的考试距离还有两个星期的时间,应该有足够的时间恶补吧?
在天上的婆婆,请您保佑您的孙女考试顺利。Amen

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

给阿麽的信

经过了60 个小时漫长的站岗后,拖着精疲力尽的身躯回到家,正准备上床就寝没想到竟获的如此的恶讯。。。阿麽。。她不行了。毫不犹豫,我立刻上网订购机票希望及时可以回到家看她最后一眼。。。谁知。。。二局钟后,她。。。离开我们了。。。

我对这电脑,眼泪不停的流,我的手一直在键盘上摸索着,努力的搜寻阿麽与我的最后一张合照。找不到。。。找到的都是与其它家人一起的大合照。于是我想起了我曾经写过一个关于阿麽的部落格,上网继续搜寻我写给她的部落各,2011。。。。没有。。。。2010。。。。没有关于她的部落格,终于。。。2009 的八月份,找到了属于她的部落格 --〉阿麽与感触

翻阅了之后,
在里头我写了一句话:

“我很高兴因为可以陪伴阿麽去看病,这。。。就是简单的快乐
阿麽,你一定要以乐观的态度面对你的病情,好好爱惜自己,别时常想胡思乱想,好吗??我真的真的很想多陪陪你。。。等我毕业,好好回来侍奉你老人家,ok?”

距离毕业还有7个月的时间,阿麽她没等到我毕业,没能看到她的孙女骄傲地穿上白袍。
远离家乡五年载,在家里的时间有限,能与她在一起的时间更有限。。。
接获恶讯之后,我一直很努力的寻找与阿麽的回忆。。。

每次假期回家,阿麽她很可爱,时常叫我帮她测量血压,别人帮她测量,她就会说,“我要芯仪帮我测量比较准确。” 有好几次,我赶着出门约会,她会捉着我,一定要我帮她测量血压后才准我出门。如果我超过凌晨12点才回家,她会很担心。。。有时候,我会蹑手蹑脚地偷溜进屋里,但是无法熟睡地她总是把我给逮个正着。

全家大小,我们都以广东新汇话与阿麽沟通,您走了。。以后我的广东新汇话都没办法派上用场了。。我会很怀念您那懵懵懂懂地眼睛,听不清楚的耳朵。。。因为您时常会有一句口头禅“眼蒙蒙,耳聋聋。。。人老了就是那么没用” 小声与您说话,您就会说怎么不理睬她;大声与您说话,您就会说怎么骂她了。。真的让人好气又好笑。。。

我会很想念您煮的菜,您说煲的汤水。。。还有。。我最喜欢的咖喱鸡。。还有,新年时的糕点。。说到新年,每一年的大年初一 ,向您拜年后,您就会“逼”我们吃那很甜很甜的糖果,说道“新年嘛。。。吃点糖,甜甜蜜蜜。。。”

还有,您很不喜欢人抖脚,时常听到您的一句话,“人摇福薄,树摇叶落”。。以前小时候不懂事,您越是纠正,我就会越是故意把脚抖得更厉害,特地把您气坏。现在早已没有这坏习惯了,有时候人急燥起来难免会抖脚,但是乎您的话在我心中早已根深蒂固,因每次一开始抖脚,心中就会浮现您的这句话 --〉人摇福薄,树摇叶落。 而且其实抖脚也是一个很不礼貌的行为,很不雅观;现在我看到朋友们这样,也会忍不住劝他们不要这样。

虽然您走了,我。。回想着,回想着。。。其实也没什么遗憾了,感谢主在您走之前的前几年,我学会了懂事,学会了孝敬老人家。我记得。。。我扶您去诊所检查,检查身体后去吃早餐,刚刚过的新年,帮您穿衣服,帮您量血压 ,提醒您吃药,陪陪您倾谈。。。

时常跟您开玩笑:您是我最美丽的婆婆,我都叫您“靓婆”,而我是您最聪明的孙女,以后要做大医生,您就叫我“叻女”。。。

此刻。。。写着写着,我的视线又再模糊了。。。婆婆,我真的很想很想您。。。我连您最后的声音,最后的笑容都听不到,看不到。。。。怎能才能让我释怀这遗憾?每每想到这里,我的心就纠了一下

去年2010 年的三月份,我开始了医学生的实习生涯,我告诉您我一年后的新年才能回家,她就很不舍得地握住我的手道,“怎么去这样久呀。。。。” 眼中充满了不舍,还从口袋里掏出一百零吉给我,要我好好的照顾自己,要去机场之前,她抱住了我。。。我。。。哭了

今年2011年的二月份,终于,我回家过年了,短短的一个星期假期,没太多时间陪伴她老人家,在我要飞回岜离岛之前一样地,她问我几时又再回来。。。我说这次比较快了,今年九月份就会回来了。她说,“什么?九月份那么久?”。我说:“快了。。。才半年嘛。。。”然后,她又从口袋拿出五十零吉马币给我,“婆婆没什么钱,多一点无法给你,只有这一点点钱给你买吃的,要好好照顾自己哦。。”、

然后。。。然后。。。我还记得,我很赶着要去飞机场了,她仿佛知道也许那一次是我们最后一次见面似的,她一直握住我的手,一直握住我的手,我说我赶飞机了,真的要走了,她还是握住我的手不放,最后我挣脱她的手,头也不回上车向飞机场去了。。。。。。


婆婆,不是我不回头,只是我很害怕回头,因为一回头我就会很不舍得,我不想要您哭,我假装很潇洒,反正还会回来嘛,不想把事情弄到那么伤感。。。没想到,上个月的这一次确是我最后一次看见您,听见您。。。

婆婆,我怀念您。。。。希望您在天堂与公公,姑姑得到安息,没有疼痛,没有苦难,只有永恒的幸福,永恒的生命,永恒的快乐。。。

我爱您,婆婆



爱您的孙女
芯仪 敬上

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

绝望的等待

在小儿科部门常常都会看到令人无奈的事情
明明知到自己的小孩可以生存的机率比纸还单薄,还是期盼会有奇迹的一天
试问人世间有多少奇迹会发生呢?


天天不眠不休地守在孩子身边


“有些傷口,時間久了就會慢慢長好;有些委屈,受過了想通了也就釋然了;有些傷痛,忍過了疼久了也成習慣了,然而卻在很多孤獨的瞬間,又重新湧上心頭。其實,有些藏在心底的話,並不是故意要去隱瞞,只是, 並不是所有的疼痛,都可以吶喊。”

有时候,这些话语不一定只能建立在爱情上
比起这母亲对孩子的爱,爱情是显得多么的渺小啊
这种折磨才是真正无法呐喊的痛

Saturday, March 5, 2011

童话 & The Violin




真的好感动哦。。。
真的好喜欢懂音乐的男生!!!


Dont know how long
Is me that was it
You told me your favourite story
...Its be on my mind
Dry in me crazy
And other reason
That's you crying now
I see the tears in your eyes
They tell me you dont believe
That I cant be
Your prince charming
Maybe you cant understand
But when you said you love me
My life was changed
And I wish you could see
I'm willing to
Be the one
And the angle that you love
With open arms
I'll always be there
You must believe
That you and me will end up happily
In our own
Fairy tale story~
你哭着对我说
童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂
从你说爱我以后
我的天空星星都亮了
我愿变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局
I will be
Be the one
And the angle that you love
With open arms
I'll always be there
You must believe
That you and me will end up leave it happily
In our own
Fairy tale story~

Thursday, March 3, 2011

烂道理 !

这烂道理并不是第一次听说过了
只不过在小儿科部门,
怎么这里的医生那么爱跟医学生们说这种烂道理?
我知道是开玩笑
只不过听久了很厌倦

哎呀。。。不用读书的啦~
你知道吗?
没读书 = 不会忘记任何东西
读一点书 = 你就会忘记一点
读更多书的话 = 你会忘记更多
所以呢,
是不需要读书的
这样你才不会忘记任何东西

请不要再灌输我这种没志气的概念!!!
自从进了小儿科部门之后,
也许站岗的时间表增加了
睡眠减少了
读书? 也没怎么读书
有时间,也宁愿把时间浪费在娱乐节目
越来越追不上的课业
越来越跟不上轨道
真的很伤心。。。
为什么我好像越来越智障?

迈入医学生生涯的最后一年
今年年尾就毕业了
好彷徨 好无阻
感觉自己都没准备好
之前还能一直安慰自己
之后的事到时再打算

迫在眉睫
时间的有限强逼我面对这艰难的考验
最奇怪的就是
明明知道自己有很多不足的地方
为什么还不努力向前?
以前很有干劲的叶芯仪去了哪里?
怎么我还可以让自己如此继续的堕落下去
怎么办?

是不是鱼儿的生活太久没有鲨鱼的出现了?
这几年来,都躲在风平浪静的小池塘
鱼儿过得太悠闲 太自在了
过不久
就得回到大海生活了
怎么办?
鱼儿会不会因为鲨鱼的追杀而努力向前奔跑?
还是坐以待毙,就这样投降让鲨鱼吃掉?
可是又不行啊。。。说到底
这五年来,鱼儿也是有付出很多的
怎么可以这样放弃了呢?


这几天
真的很 DEPRESSION ....
鱼儿好像。。。真的放弃了
=(







Saturday, February 26, 2011

連心

不知怎么的最近的我爱上了老歌。。。哈哈。。。
这首是 郑欣宜与刘家昌的经典合作。
自从进了小儿科部门,
我的生活只有三个选择 :

  • 我明天站岗
  • 我今天站岗
  • 我刚站岗完毕

没有一天是可以停歇的,刚站岗回来今晚又是Saturday Night,
应该要 enjoy 一下 !!


Sunday, February 20, 2011

最痛的心-母亲是伟大的

昨天刚从小儿科部门站岗回来,真的把我累坏了。。。
不想多说,只想分享我此刻的心情。

还记得,以前一开始迈入医学生实习生涯时,常常会把私人感情放在病人身上,久而久之,再遇见更多病人之后慢慢地都变麻木了。 但是在这里很想跟大家分享我在小儿科病房站岗的心情,突然间觉得自己是幸福的,是幸运的,虽然做医生让我牺牲了不少自己的时间,为病人而活,但是昨天看了那些小孩后,忽然间很开心 觉得自己很幸运成为医生,有机会看到人生百态,即使牺牲了青春但真的不会白费了人生。

病人一
他患了 duodenal atresia 小肠锁闭症,刚刚施完手术,消瘦得不行,已经三个月大了,才三公斤而已,他的母亲也辞了工作,天天留在医院照顾他。他母亲告诉我,自从进院以来,她自己也瘦了8kg. 由于这婴儿需要根据医生安排的 nutrition 时间表定时喂奶,有时是每两个小时,有时每三个小时喂一次。就像昨天,是我负责这婴儿的饮食时间表,除了白天之外,凌晨的一点,三点,五点都要叫醒他的母亲泡奶喂这婴儿。我只不过每三天站岗一次,晚间没得睡,但是这母亲呢?天天都要这样的过生活。,

病人二
他患了一个罕见的病,名为 Pierre-Robin Syndrome , 三个月大,病情危在旦夕,更可怜的是原来他们的第一个孩子也是患有先天疾病而离世的,万万没想到第二个孩子也是那么的不幸。听护士们说原本这夫妻家境还不错的,但是之前为了救第一个孩子的生命已把屋子卖掉,孩子还是救不回来。现在他们都把所有希望寄予这第二个孩子,夫妻也没什么工作了,天天24小时不眠不休地留在加护病房陪伴这孩子,希望奇迹可以出现,孩子可以活下去。

病人三
他患了Burkitt's Lymphoma, 伯基特淋巴瘤,才两岁的小孩就得忍受化疗的痛苦,而且在颈项的肿瘤把他压得喘不过气来,时常面临呼吸困难的危机。站岗到了今天早上,以是我第三十个局钟的工作时间,精力也消耗得七七八八了。。。在写报告时,竟然在报告上“鬼画符”,沉重的眼皮不听使唤地压下来,忽然间听到走廊传来一阵婴儿哭闹声,把我从“神智不清”的情况下唤醒了,好奇心的驱使下,去看看到底是哪家的婴儿在哭泣?原来是他。他的母亲楼着他在怀里,不停地想办法让他忘记肿瘤带给他的痛楚,忘记哭泣,但都徒劳无功。过了两个小时,那孩子还是哭泣着,我看到了一幕让我很辛酸的画面,那母亲一只手抱着还在哭泣着的孩子,也许看到我走进病房,另一只手就不好意思地默默地拟去自己脸上不停流下来的泪水!!!我看到了,眼睛也湿了。

是,那些不幸的孩子是很痛苦,
但是身为父母亲看见自己的孩子那么痛苦但又无能为力时,
心更痛!

试问世上还有谁的心能比那默默拟去自己泪水的母亲更痛呢?



Monday, February 14, 2011

今はまだ悲しい love song


最後のキスは
タバコのflavorがした
にがくてせつない香
明日の今頃は
あなたはどこにいるんだろう
誰を想ってるんだろう
you are always gonna be my love
いつか誰かとまた恋に落ちても
i'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
今はまだ悲しい love song
新しい歌 うたえるまで
立ち止ま時間が
動き出そうとしてる
忘れたくないことばかり
明日の今頃には
わたしはきっと泣いている
あなたを想ってるんだろう
you will always be inside my heart
いつもあなただけの場所があるから
i hope that i have a place in your heart too
now and forever you are still the one
今はまだ悲しい love song
新しい歌 うたえるまで
you are always gonna be my love
いつか誰かとまた恋に落ちても
i'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
今はまだ悲しい love song



Love, can't you see I'm alone
Can't you give this fool a chance
A little love is all I ask
a little kindness in the night
Please don't leave me behind
No, don't tell me love is blind
A little love is all I ask
and that is all

Ooh... love
I've been searching so long
I've been searching high and low
A little love is all I ask
A little sadness when you're gone
Maybe you need a friend
Only please don't let's pretend
a ltitle love is all I ask
and that is all

I wanna spread my wings
But I just can't fly
As a string of pearls and pretty girls
Go sailing by
Ocean deep
I'm so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings
Solitary room
Ocean deep

Will I ever find a lover
May be she has found the lover
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine I'll keep
Ocean Deep

Love
Can't you hear when I call
Can't you hear a word I say
a little love is all I ask
a little feeling when we touch
Why am I still alone
I've got a heart without a home
A little love is all I ask
and that is all
I wanna spread my wings
But I just can't fly
As a string of pearls and pretty girls
Go sailing by
Ocean deep
I'm so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings (in a)
Solitary room
Ocean deep
Will I ever find a lover
May be she has found the lover
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine I'll keep
Ocean Deep

Sunday, February 6, 2011

原来爱情跟我开了个玩笑

你在逃避着 我在心疼着
是什麽在伤害着 让美好都遗忘了
你是背对的 我是沉默的
你不再叫我宝贝 而我不再喊你亲爱的
我只好假装 我已不爱了
催眠自己我们不适合
我放开你了 我已不爱了
你快不快乐 过得是否好呢 我这样想着
你在爱谁呢 谁在想你呢
是什麽在反覆着 让回忆都翻起了
你是遥远的 我是孤独的


有缘千里来相聚,无缘对面不相逢
只要看你一眼一瞬间
也就足够了
今天的造化
就等老天爷的安排吧
告诉你我悄悄地爱上了你
却不知怎么开口告诉你
你太完美 显得我很卑微
我配不起你的爱

說服自己想多了
也许我从来就不曾浮现在你脑海中

你对我的好 我都了解
我曾经说过
如果蝴蝶不再飞了 还会漂亮吗
曾经以为不用再飞了
但是你我清楚了解
你我之间有段越不过的距离
两情相悦又如何?
这样的距离还要保持多久?
直到永远吗?
这样也好
至少可以把伤害减到最低
至少到最后 我们还是朋友

到了最后
---原来爱情总爱跟我开玩笑---

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Say bye to Forensic & Hello, Sweet HOME !

REUNION DINNER 02.02.2011

This is the 1st time i had my reunion dinner in Bali. We ( As usual, the same gang of people ) went to Dynasty Lotus Restaurant for dinner, it cost Rp 140,000 ( RM 50 ) per person. Not really nice though, but the most important is the atmosphere. We did really enjoyed it ! Can see from the photo below... we ordered the "yu shang" , and we just found out Bali Chinese, they don't mix by them self but the chef mixed for them. Immediately we stopped the chef from doing this... and all of us stand up , pick up our chopsticks and shout "Fat arr... Fat arr.....!!!!" while we mixing the "yu shang" ! and of course, we became the focus of the restaurant !!! everyone looked at us.. yet we not felt any embarrassment.. =P




STUDY DAY 03.02.2011
although is the 1st day of CNY where i supposed to enjoy the day to the max, sadly i had my exam on the next day... so what to do ? stay at my dorm and study...but the progress of study was darn slow as my heart already on the way fly back home. LOL

EXAM AND ON-CALL DAY 04.02.2011
Having my exam in the morning. Right after the exam, my last on-call in forensic department started. On-call in forensic divided into two part --> Forensic Pathology and Forensic Clinic.
  • Forensic Pathology - Stay at the forensic building , stay with the "corpse". If there are any case of unnatural death eg. traffic accident, we have to perform the external examination on the dead bodies.
  • Forensic Clinic - Stay at the Emergency Room, record all the cases which have the potential bringing to court, deal with the police man and the client/victim, about insurance etc. Besides, we also play the role as the 1st-line practitioner who handle all the rape cases, sexual harassment, criminal cases, disputed paternity, persecution, etc.. before consult to forensic specialist.
The following picture --> when i had my last on-call in Forensic Clinic.
Again, i would like to sound out forensic is really an interesting department.. I learned a lot throughout the lab, about the mechanism of death in cases of strangulation, hanging, gun shot wound, stab wound, suicide , sexual abuse or rape, sudden death, electrical injury, burn injury, infanticide, etc etc....

Out of surprise, someone bought me a drink at 2am when i almost fall asleep during on-call, feel warm and touched. You know who you are... Thanks a lot.. =)


CASE PRESENTATION AND GO HOME 05.02.2011
Hoorayyyyyyyyyyyy^^^^^^^!!!!!
Hopefully it is not too late to collect ang pao ,agree ?
kekekekeke,.....

Thursday, February 3, 2011

HAPPY CNY !!! 新年快乐 !!

祝大家
新年快乐
兔年行好运
大家 心想事成 万事如意
最重要的是 身体健康 天天开心





This is the photo which i took in my room...
I purposely decorate my family photos in a heart-shaped and paste at the wall which is just beside my bed. hehe....


another thing which i love the most
Winnie Pooh !!!
but is only a small size winnie pooh in my room
hmm... daddy, I want a 1.6M height winnie pooh when i graduate , deal ?? =P

Wishing everyone HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR !!!!
have a PROSPEROUS YEAR ahead !!!
and the most important
- good health -


Ok, is the time to study and get ready for tomorrow osce examination in forensic department !!!
having Oncall right after my exam on friday
Saturday Case Presentation

Sunday back to my BELOVED HOME !!!!!!! Hooray ^^^^
Can't wait for it.....

Pray for my exam tomorrow because really not study much
Hardly focus in my study on this very 1st day of CNY !!!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Lucky !




Jason Mraz - Lucky

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh


I'm COMING HOME.... another 1 week ++
Can't wait for it !!!! Woohoo^^^^^^
I want to go for movie, ktv, shopping !!!!

I'm going to get out of the dull hospital life after 10 months never break !!!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Forensic Expert !!! 法政先锋

It's been sometimes since last i uploaded about my medical life in Bali..
Time flies, I had finished my 1st part of clinical years ( "surgery cycle" ) and now it comes to the 2nd part of clinical years which we called it as "medical cycle".
Well, for your information, Surgery Cycle is more about skills and "action", meanwhile Medical Cycle is more about study and knowledge, which include the following :
  1. Radiology
  2. Forensic
  3. Pediatrics
  4. Internal Medicine
  5. Public Health
  6. Ophthalmology
  7. Psychiatry
I have 4 weeks time in Forensic department, had been gone through the 1st week and now comes to the 2nd week. I wanna write a lil bit about what happened for the past 1st week.

  • had been went through two autopsy : Neonatal Cases which suspect infanticide. Another one is homicide of an adult. It's really interesting when doctor was explaining about what we discovered and deduced the time of death, the way the corpse might killed, and revealed the cause of death throughout the process of autopsy. In the same time, it only the smell of corpse which we really need to endure. The culture over here, we are not allowed ( hmm... not to say not allow, but it is "better not" ) to wear face mask, the reason given is by not wearing face mask is a way of respect the dead bodies. Thus, there are NO one wearing masks during the autopsy, so if you insist to wear, you looked VERY WEIRD among the people !!! so what i did was using my fingers and pinched my nose when i really couldn't stand with the smell. But most of the time, no much people pinch their nose too.. so i am one of the weirdooooo...!!! Gimme sometime, I will learn to be immune to the smell !
  • Two times of experience in performing External examination ( 验尸) : One was died on traffic accident, and he only 18 years old. So please everyone, ride / drive carefully ! Don't lose your life because of traffic accident, It really heartbroken to see the parents cried bitterly upon their death children. Another cases was about sudden cardiac arrest of a young army , 22years old, experienced convulsion and died when he received punishment in the military forces of nation. Me and my friends , total of four, went to the military camp.. and what happened was we were well greeted by the captain and naval officers and crowded by over hundreds of soldiers. We went inside the center of the camp and saw a coffin covered by the flag of Indonesia. A good experience thou, something like what happened in the movie.
  • Duty in forensic department include standby at the emergency room, recorded all the cases, assess the wound how it got hurt, handle all kind of cases include sexual assault, murder, suicide etc. I love the morning report, everyday each group will present the cases they encounter during their duty and we will discuss about the wound investigation, for the murder cases or if the corpse come with putrefaction, we learn to find out the identification of the corpse, investigation of death, their post-mortem changes, the blood stain, the mode of being killed and provide our findings or useful information and cooperate with the police.
    We have a meeting room for us to analyze the cases like what happened in the movie, and i really really salute the forensic doctors the way they analyze and explain the cases !
  • Really gain a lot of interesting knowledge in this lab, especially how the killer would do on the corpse trying to mask up the real setting of the case. haha..!!! By studying forensic pathology, each case will reveal the truth !!! Sadly, there are still lack of forensic doctors in Indonesia. ( i not really know the condition in Malaysia ). There are only 3 forensic doctors in Bali, so everyday we can see the 3 doctors work like the mad ones but they still looked so happy.. Actually I really so curious the reason they choose to specialize in forensic. In Indonesia it is FREE OF CHARGE to specialize in Forensic because they wanna encourage more doctors to involve in this field. Although F.O.C. but from what i noticed, it is still not successful to attract doctors to specialize in this field.

This is the Forensic Canteen which located beside the forensic department, provided food and drinks for those unfortunate family... of course, doctors are welcome too.. haha...


This is the TWO LARGE CONTAINERS which people always talk about... it contained all the victim who are undetermined identity, or those who are not collected by their family. What i heard from my friends, it still contain the full body or part of body of the victims during the Bali BOM 2002.



DISASTER VICTIM IDENTIFICATION - the DVI TEAM which is really well developed in Bali especially after the incident of Bali Bom in year 2002.



During our 30 hours duty in forensic department which happened once in 3 days, you will see the offering or worships goods placed on the floor of each corner and in front of EACH room. From what my friend told me, by offering these to prevent "them" to "disturb" us during the night.


the ambulances which transporting the dead bodies to the hospital...


What we afraid the most during the duty is the sound of the corpse trolley coming to our way, which mean some one had died and we need to handle the dead bodies by performing external examination.


In all, case discussion and investigation is undeniably interesting, but frankly speaking, i still feel very scare in handling dead bodies or staying up at night in the forensic department.


*Rest In Peace*
*Treasure your life*
*Finger-crossed*
*Amen*

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