The Letter 给你的一封信

It's A Long Post I know... It's been quite some time since last I blogged a lengthy post. Be patience until you finish, alright ? =)

2010 年的到来，
如往年，
希望可以抛开过去的束缚，希望今年会更好

这几天，我都一直那么的Full Of Spirit
请别打沉我的Spirit， 好吗？
我真的希望
我 不再纸上谈兵 而是实际的实行我想做的一切

对于你
朋友都说
也许我只是因为在这儿的寂寞与孤单
所以才会对你念念不忘
朋友都说
其实我并没有自己想象中那么的爱你
你是否还记得五年前的一月一日？
这些年来，我都很害怕跨年的到来
因为这节日会让我想起你，然后心就会绞痛起来
前几天的跨年
一如往昔，还是会想起你
但是，心不再痛了，只留下一阵地落寞
是因为时间已把它冲淡了？
还是我已对心痛的感觉免疫了？
又或许是我在努力的压抑着它？
不管怎样，对你对我，这是好的现象，不是吗？
至少当你不再给我简讯时，我已经学习不再抓狂
当它已不再是我的习惯，那么我已经成功地学习你不在身旁这个习惯

对于你
我只有感激以及抱歉
一直很努力的学习关心你 在意你
但还是觉得少了些什么的
也许是你比较不幸运
因为我不再是以前的那个我
我变得更谨慎更小心翼翼
因为我害怕再受伤害
所以造就了你的辛苦你的疲惫
也许是我们相处的时间不多
你咄咄逼人的态度会让我吃不消
而选择了逃亡
也许是我的自私
一直想要留着一个关心我爱护我的人在自己身边
忽略了你的感受
你 可以选择放弃
我不会怪你
也不会说你违背了你给我的承诺

承诺对我来说本来就是没价值的
承诺也是这世界上保存期限最短暂的东西
因为它的保存期限 只有在说出的那一瞬间生效
所以 我只相信 行动
行动才能证明一切

During the New Year eve, I went for the church service. At the end of the service, Ps. Wayan asked all of us to write down 5 visions we want to accomplish in the year of 2010 on a piece of paper . Next, put it into a basket and we prayed for our vision...

What caught me in a surprise was the list which i had written down. I thought i would put my love life in the 1st place. In fact, it ranked no.5 ( which was the last one ) in my list. I just wrote it instinctively without a second thought...But i dare not to assure that. I was perplexed.. A lot of question marks flooded into my mind : Am i trying to deny it ? Am I trying to suppress my feeling and put my love life at the last place in purpose? or It's really genuinely from my heart ? No matter how....It's a good sign ,isn't it ? What's wrong if i put my family,God and my future in the 1st place ? I just found out i have plenty to achieve before the love life...

Recently confiding with a number of friends, the topic just couldn't out of the track of worrying about the love life. Especially for those who study medicine, being so worried that they couldn't find any partner in the future because of the stigma of guys would run away when thy heard that you are studying medicine. Yes, I used to think the same as they do.

But after being so inspired by some of my other friends especially my sweetie ( thanks Sweetie keep elated me ) my perception changed, I still have 2 years to complete my degree as a doctor. So, What is more important at the time being ? Of course , is my Future , My live as A DOCTOR ? do you agree ? If I still so obsessed in something which ruin my happiness , If i rushed into a relationship just because i'm lonely and get hurt, why don't just spare myself the pain and focus on something more wealth worthy? Love life is Nothing if you compare with this - Imagining those people who in the stake of life and you save them !

May be I'm still young , enough courageous in mustering this kind of opinion.but I utterly believed in God, I knew Jesus have had a plan to everyone one of us. At this moment, maybe i should just focus on my clinical years as a junior doctor, enriched myself with knowlegde, sharpening my skill and become a better person in the sense of personality and mind-set. Whilst, Live faithfully and awaiting my Mr.Right come to my world. I believe it.

You have to get ready yourself, before you get ready to have a partner of your life. If you still not yet ready in any sense, how could you expect your partner come to your life ???

similarly, You should able to love yourself , take care yourself and treasure yourself before you able to love your partner, concern your partner and clasped your partner in arms whenever they are tripped ... Agree ?

Some meaningful sermon from a forwarded email :

• Live for today , as tomorrow is promised to no-one

• Never save something "special" for a "special occasion" as everyday is a "special occasion" for us...
  

• Spend more time with your family and love your family every day even more. Believed that your "true Love" always surrounding you..
  

• Life should be a source of experience to live up to but Not to survive through

Sounds Optimistic huh ??? Hopefully i can keep this spirit perpetuate and leap with joy every single day !!!!!

One last opinion needed from you guyz.... The photo above is one of my high school ( PCGHS　) senior named Gwen Lu . She gain a high reputation in Asia and currently continue her courier as a model in Paris. Cool ? Stunt ? Astonish ? Really Happy and Proud of her !!!!!!
女生，不一定只有爱情，也可以干一番惊人的成就哦　！！！！

Oh yeah... almost forgot my original intention abt you guyz opinion... I'm thinking cut my hair short before officially start my clinical years... The above photo is one my reference what my hairstyle going to be.... what do u thk ???? Or It would be better if I just keep my long hair unchanged ???? If you ask me why...

1. because of my hair loss problem in Bali
2. The weather in Bali is damn hot and clinical years need to wear formally with the white coat, I will suffocate, I thk..
3. Just bored with my old hairstyle and wanna give myself a bash !!!!
   

Pls don't be stingy in leaving me a comment, ok ? =P