妈，我及格了！Defeat It Finally !

I defeat You - OSCE !!!
First and foremost ,
Thankyou Lord....Thankyou Jesus !!!

What's OSCE ? An abbreviation which I always trembled and my body inevitably sapless as I heard the word !

Objective Structured Clinical Examination (OSCE) is a modern type of examination often used in health sciences (e.g. medicine, pharmacy, dentistry) to test clinical skill performance and competence in skills such as communication, clinical examination, medical procedures / prescription, joint mobilisation / manipulation techniques, and interpretation of results.

OSCE usually comprises a circuit of short (usual is 5–10 minutes ) stations, in which each candidate is examined on a one-to-one basis with one or two impartial examiner(s) and either real or simulated patients (actors). Candidates rotate through the stations, completing all the stations on their circuit.

OSCE would be held once in the end of each semester. For my semester 7 ( which was the LAST OSCE I need to encounter before the clinical years.. phew~ )

Station 1 - Medical Record (SOAP - Subjective, Objective, Assessment and Planning )
Station 2 - Pediatric ( Neonatal Resuscitation Procedure )
Station 3 - Anaesthesia ( Respiratory Failure )
Station 4 - Surgery ( Acute Appendicitis )
Station 5 - Skin ( Dermatology Management )

Only 5 minutes allocated for each station. Beside the knowledge and skill u have mastered, the most important is FAST + ACCURATE yet CALM !!!!! ( Which i always lack even I have well-mastered everything.. ) I don't know.... I always need some time to warm up before my brain start function ~

On the 29th DEC 2009, as usual...I started trembling as soon as the horrible bell rang up "RRRRIIINGGGGGGGGG" Time started counting, when i wrote the medical record... I still can remember vividly how I SMEARED over the paper, I just couldn't write it properly, my hand was insanely shivering and my mind was in total mess !

Proceed to the 2nd station, Not really calm down... I could feel my mouth was shuddering as i explained whilst performed the procedure of resuscitation.

Only came to the 3rd station, I managed to refrigerate myself and accordingly, the following station, I could performed with Full confidence and CALM.

THANK GOD !!!! I defeat it finally !!!!!!! How fervently i prayed yesterday before i got to sleep !!!! My hard work get paid in the end... Thank you Thank you Jesus !!!!

The most important thing is -
I can enjoy the FULL HOLIDAY without the need to come back earlier just for the remedial !!!
An exhilarating news , yeah ?

故事的背后：

其实当考试一结束，我的心里担心得要命，因为总觉得第一个Station 因紧张的关系，表现得不好。这OSCE考试，即使你的总分加起来是及格的．(及格＝７０分或以上）但是，一旦Flunk在其中一个Station，也就是等于FAIL.不管你的总平均分有多好．

当天考完式，参加朋友的生日会，一直都闷闷不乐，当我听到一些朋友们说他们的Diagnosis跟我的不一样，说我对那个Case的判断是错误时，我心情更糟．．．简直糟透了！！（这OSCE是根据Circuit, 而我拿到较早的circuit，较后面Circuit的朋友们都拿到考试的Tips了，而且听说他们也彻彻底底地讨论这Case的Diagnosis是什么了．）而我，还来不及好好地思考，就得进入考场．

那时真的很心里不平衡，为何我总是缺少那么一点点的运气？？这考试，即使你是武装俱全，也需要东风的支配才能获胜．所谓的东风就是临场的表现，遇到的考官是否严厉，还有他们看你顺不顺眼，等等．在那时候，我又再开始怨天尤人了．．．为何我总是那个不幸运的？之前在第六个学期也曾FaiL 过一次，就因为遇到的考官太严厉了，对我的要求很苛刻，导致不及格，眼见表现比我不理想的朋友也能过关，我真的是心里很不平衡！！还有一次，在第三个学期，就因为那考官听不懂我的英语，竟然就这样FaiL 了我．．．真的把我气砸了！！！

之后，听到一个朋友对我说了这样的话，

"你真的那么羡慕那些只靠侥幸过关的人？
难道你要你的人生是靠着＜幸运＞来成功?
这样的人生,真的是你想要的吗?
为何你不往好的方面想想?
天安排你遇到比较严厉的考官或是比较坎坷的人生,这都有它背后的意义.
严厉的考官可以让你以后的Skill更好,
比较坎坷的道路可以让你变得更能承受挫折,以至更坚强,不好吗?
靠自己实力成功比侥幸还要更有成就感,更具意义,不是吗?"

听完朋友一番话后,我的心里真的是平复了很多,也平衡了很多... (哈哈...).虽然如此,昨天知道成绩将在今天揭晓后,还是难掩心中的忧虑. 一早,就收到简讯“your Station 1：Medical Record Not OK..”真的很谢谢这位朋友用比较弯转的方式告诉我不及格的消息。过后知道我的分数竟然只差一分就及格了，原本在医院上课的我立刻请辞跑去学院会负责我的考卷纸的医生。检查之下，原来她真的是少改给我一个Point,少给我一分。真的是很感谢主，无论是实力，幸运还是侥幸，结论就是我终于过关了！！！

终于，我可以松了一口气，好好的享受 before 进 clinical years 的最后一个假期 （因为整个长达一年半的clinical years是没假期的，比工作还要惨，一星期工作6天，每天8小时，有时还要上夜班就变成30小时工作，又没薪水拿。。。还要挨骂。。。oopsss...我又开始complain的毛病了。。。）其实，还蛮期待clinical years 的啦。。。哈哈。。。期待第一次做医生的滋味（虽然只是实习而已）但是，

此时此刻的我，当然是最期待回家啦 ！
倒数还有14天。。。

^^HOORAYYYYYYYYYYY^^

岜厘岛之^^Water bloW^^

It's been a considerable of time since last i posted about my enjoyable moment in Bali

Here , Another scene which may take your breath away

^^WATER BLOW^^

Guys, HOLD your Breath , Please !!!!

WOW ! WOW !! WOW !!!
Such a Super-GREAT SplashHhH ...!!!!!!

Tew and Cheok RISK THEIR LIFE by standing just few meters away from the water "BLOWING" area ...

( Actually there was a sign of "Dangerous Area" before you entering the area, i think thy had overlooked the warning board...haha..! Really a good shot though ! I should try that next time...hehe... ShhHhh... Pls Don't tell my parents *Silence* )

WOW ! The water Blowing 3X higher than men's height !
Even with the umbrella in hand, thy were ALL-IN-WET !!!

Another view from the water blowing area :
I love the Dark blue colour of the Sea and the old-age delicated Rock.
Is very sunny that day ( 27.07.09 ) , My skin get tanned immediately...

Here, The water blowing area...
It's hard to capture the peak of water "blowing" scene because need precise estimation between the time of "blowing" and the time you press the "capture" button on your camera.
Each "blowing" take around few seconds once in every few minutes...

The best time to capture the fascinated view is ApriL - November
Not now... ( dec & Jan ) Raining season....

Charlie, Stop Kissing Me !!!

No matter how i perished it asap as i saw it...
Still, I couldn't get rid myself from the fate of get kissing by You ( charlie ! ). The lesion just cropped up as i arose from my bed 2 days ago.

It's been the 2nd time i got bitten by this pesky charlie !
As the consequence, it gave a displeasing appearance on the flexion side of my body region. =.=""

From the picture above,
( Left pic ) The Pus on the erythematous ( reddish ) surface on my upper arm.
( Right pic ) The Crusted lesion of the ruptured-Pus on the flexion side of my neck.
Yes ! The predisposing Site of this nettlesome insect is the FLEXION region of our body


Thus, i just browsed through some websites searching info about this insect.

The snippet of info which i got from the website :
-Common name of this insect : Rove Beetle
-Species Name : Paederus Fuscipes Curtis
-Malay Name : Semut Semai / Kayap ; Charlie etc.

It's carnivorous and eat smaller insect and usually they habitate in paddy field. During the heavy rains, the beetle will migrate to drier areas ( Check ! Bali is having the raining season a.t.m. )

The Haemolymph ( blood and lymph ) in the entire body of this Beetle contain the most poisonous animal contact toxin ( namely, Pederin ) in the world !!!! And this toxin will cause Paederus ( Rove Beetle ) Dermatitis ( Infection of the skin ) !!!!! ( Like me )
Thank God, It doesn't afflicted the mucosa area or my eyes.. because the result might devastastating ! No Joke !!!

It's very contagious...The lesion may arise as you contact collided with this beetle or simply touching those who having the bitten lesion. Don't touch me !!!! As you touch the lesion accidentally, please wash your hand with soup and water IMMEDIATELY !!!!

Penang people , pls take a note ! Do not overlooking this matter because according to the website, it's been affected high rise flat dwellers and dormitory student in Penang.

Since the beetle is attracted to lights at night, switch off the light...
( Left pic ) The Insecticide Spray - GOOD & EFFECTIVE !!!! ( Thanks to Li Yun lending me the spray )
( Right Pic ) Don't use Steroid Paste as It's USELESS and VIRTUALLY NOT effective !!!! Worse still, may leave scars ~

A day of WaitinG 沉闷的一天

不知不觉，又来到了第七个学期的尾声。。。
不知不觉，所有 Theory 及 PracticaL 的考试都结束了。。。
不知不觉，我已学完了关于医学所有该懂的知识及各种不同疾病，人体构造，治疗 等等。
但，先声明，我对这三年来所学的记忆又剩多少呢？

这个月，从 30 Dec 2009 - 2 Feb 2010 将会有一个 program - KKR （我不知道它到底stand for 什么 =P）．KKR 主要目的是要让我们去early expose to the Hospital Life,　熟悉医院的环境以及运作，　也让我们了解一个实习医生该以及不该做的事情．

我被篇排在 E Group.
以下是我的时间表．

4th－5th Jan 2010, 我被篇排到 OBGYN ( 妇产科部门）

早上十点，就收到消息说有一位孕妇还没到生产期就出现了下体流血 ( Anterpartum Bleeding) 的Case.由于这是Emergency Case, 需要Stabilize 病人先，我们才可以为病人做访问(Anamnesis) ．当然，我们这些碍手碍脚的Pre-clinical medical student 理所当然的要＂闪＂一边 在旁守候．

你看，每个人都等到很沉闷，很不耐烦．．．

在沉闷的同时，灵感一动，就拿起我的手机拍像．
我真的很想索性躺在这张床上睡觉．．．

以上照片，就是孕妇临产前等待生产时的房间．

这位孕妇就是在这房间里急救着，叫做 Kamar Isolasi ( Isolation Room )
我真的很闷．．．傻傻地等了两个小时．．．脚也很酸，就假装勤力一下，阅读书本打发时间．

等了三局钟，终于轮到我们进去探访这位病人，但是由于病人刚失血过多，很累．．．
所以我们也无法问她太多的问题．
只有机会学习怎样运作这个Machine ( Cardiotocography) －测量胎里的婴儿（Fetus )，他／她的心跳以及母亲子宫( Uterus )的Contraction Rate.
这位孕妇只有32星期，还未到37星期（正常的生产期）．所以，需要密切的留意随时会有出血的情形发生因为她被诊断出胎盘位置不正确的症状．（Placenta Previa )

After the case, I just felt so exhausted and frus without any apparent reason..Might be tired of waiting ??? I don't know... I think the only reason which could explain this is - the whole month we only need to do observation in the hospital without any evaluation. No evaluation = No catalyst which trigger me to study... And my mind just overwhelmed by the feeling of going home... which is still have 27 days left...... I'm so eager to go home......My sweet sweet home...

Due to the sadness which i had felt inexplicably, therefore i decided to get myself some nice drink as a reward.Also, attempting to stimulate more dopamine and serotonin into my brain to cheer up myself ~

So, I went to Dunkin' Donuts' ( Yes, the Well-known Dunkin is located inside the hospital, cool right ? ) I bought a cup of Ice chocolate which cost me Rp22,500 ( RM 8 ) , rather expensive for me actually and it's Not really nice....kinda disappointing.... made me even more depress..... T.T

The Letter 给你的一封信

It's A Long Post I know... It's been quite some time since last I blogged a lengthy post. Be patience until you finish, alright ? =)

2010 年的到来，
如往年，
希望可以抛开过去的束缚，希望今年会更好

这几天，我都一直那么的Full Of Spirit
请别打沉我的Spirit， 好吗？
我真的希望
我 不再纸上谈兵 而是实际的实行我想做的一切

对于你
朋友都说
也许我只是因为在这儿的寂寞与孤单
所以才会对你念念不忘
朋友都说
其实我并没有自己想象中那么的爱你
你是否还记得五年前的一月一日？
这些年来，我都很害怕跨年的到来
因为这节日会让我想起你，然后心就会绞痛起来
前几天的跨年
一如往昔，还是会想起你
但是，心不再痛了，只留下一阵地落寞
是因为时间已把它冲淡了？
还是我已对心痛的感觉免疫了？
又或许是我在努力的压抑着它？
不管怎样，对你对我，这是好的现象，不是吗？
至少当你不再给我简讯时，我已经学习不再抓狂
当它已不再是我的习惯，那么我已经成功地学习你不在身旁这个习惯

对于你
我只有感激以及抱歉
一直很努力的学习关心你 在意你
但还是觉得少了些什么的
也许是你比较不幸运
因为我不再是以前的那个我
我变得更谨慎更小心翼翼
因为我害怕再受伤害
所以造就了你的辛苦你的疲惫
也许是我们相处的时间不多
你咄咄逼人的态度会让我吃不消
而选择了逃亡
也许是我的自私
一直想要留着一个关心我爱护我的人在自己身边
忽略了你的感受
你 可以选择放弃
我不会怪你
也不会说你违背了你给我的承诺

承诺对我来说本来就是没价值的
承诺也是这世界上保存期限最短暂的东西
因为它的保存期限 只有在说出的那一瞬间生效
所以 我只相信 行动
行动才能证明一切

During the New Year eve, I went for the church service. At the end of the service, Ps. Wayan asked all of us to write down 5 visions we want to accomplish in the year of 2010 on a piece of paper . Next, put it into a basket and we prayed for our vision...

What caught me in a surprise was the list which i had written down. I thought i would put my love life in the 1st place. In fact, it ranked no.5 ( which was the last one ) in my list. I just wrote it instinctively without a second thought...But i dare not to assure that. I was perplexed.. A lot of question marks flooded into my mind : Am i trying to deny it ? Am I trying to suppress my feeling and put my love life at the last place in purpose? or It's really genuinely from my heart ? No matter how....It's a good sign ,isn't it ? What's wrong if i put my family,God and my future in the 1st place ? I just found out i have plenty to achieve before the love life...

Recently confiding with a number of friends, the topic just couldn't out of the track of worrying about the love life. Especially for those who study medicine, being so worried that they couldn't find any partner in the future because of the stigma of guys would run away when thy heard that you are studying medicine. Yes, I used to think the same as they do.

But after being so inspired by some of my other friends especially my sweetie ( thanks Sweetie keep elated me ) my perception changed, I still have 2 years to complete my degree as a doctor. So, What is more important at the time being ? Of course , is my Future , My live as A DOCTOR ? do you agree ? If I still so obsessed in something which ruin my happiness , If i rushed into a relationship just because i'm lonely and get hurt, why don't just spare myself the pain and focus on something more wealth worthy? Love life is Nothing if you compare with this - Imagining those people who in the stake of life and you save them !

May be I'm still young , enough courageous in mustering this kind of opinion.but I utterly believed in God, I knew Jesus have had a plan to everyone one of us. At this moment, maybe i should just focus on my clinical years as a junior doctor, enriched myself with knowlegde, sharpening my skill and become a better person in the sense of personality and mind-set. Whilst, Live faithfully and awaiting my Mr.Right come to my world. I believe it.

You have to get ready yourself, before you get ready to have a partner of your life. If you still not yet ready in any sense, how could you expect your partner come to your life ???

similarly, You should able to love yourself , take care yourself and treasure yourself before you able to love your partner, concern your partner and clasped your partner in arms whenever they are tripped ... Agree ?

Some meaningful sermon from a forwarded email :

• Live for today , as tomorrow is promised to no-one

• Never save something "special" for a "special occasion" as everyday is a "special occasion" for us...
  

• Spend more time with your family and love your family every day even more. Believed that your "true Love" always surrounding you..
  

• Life should be a source of experience to live up to but Not to survive through

Sounds Optimistic huh ??? Hopefully i can keep this spirit perpetuate and leap with joy every single day !!!!!

One last opinion needed from you guyz.... The photo above is one of my high school ( PCGHS　) senior named Gwen Lu . She gain a high reputation in Asia and currently continue her courier as a model in Paris. Cool ? Stunt ? Astonish ? Really Happy and Proud of her !!!!!!
女生，不一定只有爱情，也可以干一番惊人的成就哦　！！！！

Oh yeah... almost forgot my original intention abt you guyz opinion... I'm thinking cut my hair short before officially start my clinical years... The above photo is one my reference what my hairstyle going to be.... what do u thk ???? Or It would be better if I just keep my long hair unchanged ???? If you ask me why...

1. because of my hair loss problem in Bali
2. The weather in Bali is damn hot and clinical years need to wear formally with the white coat, I will suffocate, I thk..
3. Just bored with my old hairstyle and wanna give myself a bash !!!!
   

Pls don't be stingy in leaving me a comment, ok ? =P