分解

吵架时为什么会大声？

原因是当两个人相互愤怒的时候，他们的心和心相距很远；

为了填补这段距离，他们必须呼喊才能让彼此的心听到

他们越是愤怒，心和心距离则越是遥远

于是，他们只有越发强力呼喊，他们彼此才能听到

反过来也就是恋爱时为什么情侣们都喃喃低语的原因。。。

幸福不是被致命的错误所扼杀，而是被不断重复出现的小错一点点分解掉

已经被分解得体无完肤了

不希望再被分解了

要不然距离就会越分越离了

请原谅我的愚笨

Happy New Year 2011

My dearie friends
Happy New Year 2011 !!!

Cheers to a new year and
another chance for us to get it right !!!

I believed it would be a better year ahead !!!
Let bygone Be bygone ..
I have a feeling I will love this year
and it would be the truth !
My prayer will be answered
My family will and always be blessed...

This is the roadside view in Bali..
You can see firecrackers selling everywhere..
which is the scene where we can only seen in Malaysia 10 years ago

when the clock struck 00.00 , 01 Jan 2011 .. The whole Bali fell into a frenzied state, firecrackers everywhere, we not needed to go a particular place to see the firecrackers because it's just everywhere and It's really really spectacular !!!

I wish this would be my last year celebrate new year in Bali.. it's been 6 years never celebrate new year back home.. really longed for it.. !
time flies, comes to the final year in Bali ,
people always in dilemma, i always said i wanna leave this sucks place asap
but when it come to the final year,
i want to say , i will really treasure my final year in Bali

My Quote of 2011 :

"If you want to succeed in your life, remember this phrase: The Past does not equal The Future. Because you failed yesterday; or all day today; or a moment ago; or for the last six months; the last 16 years; or the last fifty years of life, doesn't mean anything...All that matters is: What are you going to do, RIGHT NOW!!?"

说不出的委屈

有些令人讨厌的护士会一直奚落她这个左撇子
有些思想不开放的医生会觉得她左手不礼貌
所以她千辛万苦学习习惯右手
用右手吃饭，
用右手写报告，
用右手接生孩子，
用右手使用剪刀，
她甚至已很习惯用右手帮病人缝合伤口
这也是她觉得自己很骄傲的事情

还有很多大大小小的事情
她也忘了从何开始从何结束
很多时候想在部落格发泄
到最后也放弃了因为时间上的不允许
终于有空档的时候
她也累得没有力气打开手提电脑为部落填上方块字

但是今天发生的一些事
她真的无法再憋气忍受下去了
决定向上层报告为自己的尊严争一口气
上层也只不过对他口头上的惩戒
顿时她觉得她的尊严怎么那么廉价
也对啦。。。她也只不过是一个廉价的“外劳”
她也太过天真，高估自己了吧？
难道上层会为了一个“外劳”打自己人吗？
没被珍惜的感觉真的很心痛
她为她自己心痛
事情一发生
她即时想起他
原来她还是戒不掉对他的依靠
他还会对她的遭遇而感心疼吗？
除了父母亲之外，她还会是谁心目中的公主呢？

如果有一天她毕业回来了
请别看小她从印尼大学回来
她也不是一路顺利地走过来的
也只有跟她一起同甘共苦的战友目睹一路上的崎岖

如果真的有那么一天她成功了
请别认为她是幸运的
她真的付出了很多代价很多的委屈很多努力而换来的

把眼泪擦干
鼓起勇气努力向前奔跑
但是当她累了可有一个肩膀让她依靠？
还剩三天就是2010年的终点
为悲伤附上句号希望明年会更好

Saturday Night 站岗趣事

昨天saturday night 虽得站岗但其实还蛮开心的。因为第一次站岗用着了三种语言！！！（不然平时都只是印尼话而已。）

趣事一
医生Ａ叫我去handle坐在角落的一位病人，放眼看过去还以为是印尼华侨，所以我直接以印尼话问候病人：Bu, ada apa yang saya bisa bantu ? apa keluhannya ?
病人眼睁睁的看着我：can... can...y..o..u speak e..n..glish ....？
我听得出这病人也不是怎么会说英文，所以我直接换成华语回答：请问你是哪里的人？有什么我可以帮忙的吗？
原来她是从中国来的游客，在旅游时，她的孩子不小心被猴子爪伤。。。导游劝她说，由于岜哩岛的疯狗病毒还蛮猖狂的，虽然伤口只是平面伤，还是来医院检察以及打预防针比较好。
当我得用很“正统”的华语与中国病人沟通时，才发现真的如此困难！！！尤其是得已华语解释翻译科学用词时。。。真的好困难哦！！！我吱吱唔唔的。。。头脑一直在努力的翻译，　infection 话语是什么？　rabies virus 话语怎么说？　immune system ?　cell proliferation ? 等等。。。
实习那么就已来，第一次可以用回自己的语言与病人沟通真是一种很棒的感觉！！！第一次用华语问候病人，“痛不痛？”，第一次听到病人跟我说“谢谢”，第一次我说“不客气”。。。　真的好兴奋哦！！！！

趣事二
来了一个从 London 的病人，在旅游时，不小心从大岩石掉下来跌伤脚。。。
病人：hi, are you a doctor ? I fell from a rock and now i want to have a X-ray scanning .. and please don't gimme any injection, is that OK ?
我：Yes, I'm a Junior Doctor. Okie, i will give you a X-ray scanning of your leg first, and then only determine whether u need any injection or not ? i'm afraid you may have a close fracture or dislocation... and.... "
病人：“Fxxk !!!"
我吓了一跳当她以 F 字母问候。。。过后她才解释“ I'm not scolding at you , but when i heard i might need an injectin , the feeling is jus like FxxK .."
我当然知道她不是问候我，也许 Fxxk 对她们来说是习以为常的字眼，但我还是很不习惯。
之后，医生也帮她看病，碰了碰她的脚，痛得她又再大喊 FxxK !!!
整个急症室焦点都在她身上。。。。我真的是无话可说。

趣事三
到了晚上 9 点，由于现在的我是在 Pediatric Surgery Department, 所以需要帮有问题的婴儿们比如肛门闭锁症，Hirschprung疾病的婴儿“洗屁股”／Rectal Wash-Outs.. 每次婴儿都会哭得差点震破我的耳膜。。。
而且我相信那些婴儿都应该很讨厌我吧？因为每次我只须踏入病房，他们一　看见我就开始哭了。。。我有那么恐怖吗？Awww...不想婴儿们那么讨厌我耶，因为我真的很喜欢他们，也心疼他们一出世就得忍受动手术以及一切的痛苦。
所以，医生与我就想出了用手套吹成气球来逗他们开心，（以下图中。。。）

却想不到。。。
竟然弄巧反拙！！！
原本已经停止哭泣的婴儿们，
看到了这“古怪”的“气球”立刻又号啕大哭了！！！
天哪～～～～婴儿们，我真的是投降，拿你们没办法啊～～！！！

Contemplating Stregth of the Life

This is the hawker stall which i always have my dinner
It was dark, dirty and unhealthy
yet i have no way out
the only thing is i need to learn to bear with it and longing for the day which i can get rid out of a places where i not belonged to...

yesterday a little bit of depress duty in the emergency room
because i always asked to do some "stupid" jobs and learn nothing

the jobs which i meant to be "stupid" are :
sending patient to radiology department for either X-ray or CT-scan
tat's still OK for me
cleaning the blood which the patient vomited out on the floor
tat's still not the worse
Cleaning the faces which gushing out from the patient stomach due to the failure closure of the colon
tat's worse !
Bringing the pee-pot for the patient to pass water and after that i am the one who need to wash the pee-pot !!!!
tat's the worst thing to me !

Maybe i really not mighty enough to be a great doctor...
frankly speaking, i really dislike those jobs...
Starting salute the nurses...
because nurse is the one who need to endure all of these...

.........................................................................................

I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round.
I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears.
I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by.
I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild.
I get a little bit helpless and I wish i could lying like a child in your arms.
I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry.

I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark.
I'm living in a powder keg and giving off sparks.

Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm only falling apart.
Once upon a time there was light in my life but now there's only love in the dark.

.................................................................

Well, stop writing the distressing words nor sentences...
because

"Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find resources of strength that will endure as long as life lasts."
- Rachel Carson

and I am very sure that
I will contemplate it in the very near future !