热忱 - 你在哪里？

离开这城市 想找个解放
一路开往 那无际的海洋
孤单的想像 寂寞的逃亡

偶尔 会难免沮丧
想离开 想躲起来
心里的期待 总是填不满

我还能找回三年前的热忱吗?
我 默默地祈祷着
你已经离开了
只留下这份热忱 陪伴着我

热忱 你到底在哪里？
为何不出现在我的世界?
我一直 寻寻觅觅着
却只换来泪水及疲惫

热忱 你是否累了? 你消失了吗 ?
为何我感受不到你的余温?
如何才能把你驻进我心里?
我的疲惫 等待着你的安慰
却只看见你已朝向他狂奔

为何要把自己的生命
搞得如此地狼狈
一波接着一波的海浪
冲打在我的身上 何时才能停止?

关于未来 只有自己明白
不想让心情 被现实打败
疲惫的身躯 只想好好的休息
放开所有的包袱
让我的忧愁 随着海风漂走
用海风抚慰那 一碰就碎 的心灵

让自己平静 给自己力量
才发现关于梦的答案 一直在自己手上
只有自己能 让自己发光 =)

...............................................................................

我不管,我只要

回家

回家

回家

I MISS HOME BADLY ......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

只有家
才是我的栖息之地
医治我心灵上的疲惫
放下一切束缚 做会自己 享受被溺爱的感觉

谢谢你 爸爸妈妈
纵然我多么的顽皮 你们的不离不弃
永远是我最好的依靠

Pleasure Principle

2 days ago, i received an email frm a friend....is about "wat your DOB tells you ?" So...Tat's a few words about my birthday No. --->> 6

Number 6

1. Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.. You don't care about others. I mean you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person..
   
2. You will be very good in either education or work wise! (I think tis is wat other ppl thk of me.... YEs ! )
   
3. You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very beautiful girls, popular and more than lucky with anything in your lives.
4. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.
5. most of you will get marry/engaged early. ( oh...really? Don't thk so... )
   
6. You are a caring person towards your family & friends . ( In the process of Learning still..)
   
7. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further... ( I like tis snip a whole lots ....)

Usually Gals always like to do psychological test although thy know it might not true...Homo sapiens is weird, always striving hard to deceit urself upon something which won't happen in the true world... Indulging in the fantasy of Fake Happiness... mayb i'm talkin abt---> MYSELF , the weird Homo sapiens... lolx...Fervently hoping the above sentences could happen in my life...Living Ardently..

Once my friend asked me,"do you abide by any principles tat guide the route of your life?" This question is just hit the nail on my head... I answered,"nvr thought of tis matter b4"..I feel ashamed of myself in a sudden, 22yrs++ life without principles...how can it be? It's gnawing me... After a deep thought, i thk my principle so far is --------->> PLEASURE PRINCIPLE

Accoring to Sigmund Freud, The Structural Theory of Mind (Id,Ego,SuperEgo):

• Id refers to a reservoir of unorganized instinctual drives. Operating under the domination of the primary process, lacking the capacity to delay or modify the instinctual drives with which an infant is born. Which all these amount to PLEASURE PRINCIPLE

• Ego - The executive organ of psyche, controls motility,perception,contact with reality, through defence mechanism available to it,the delay and modulation of drive expression. He believed that, Id is modified as a result of the impact of external world on the drives, wic simultateously substitutes the REALITY PRINCIPLE for the pleasure principle

• Superego establishes and maintains an individual's moral conscience on the basis of a complex system of ideals and values internalized

You are right...I'm just too immature in handling every expect in my life..alwaz work according to my instinct without a second thought.

When fear crept into my heart, my faith began to shaken and weaken...my faith was put in the test many times... but i still don't have any improvement though...Allow me to make the final dopey decision... after this, I will abandon the pleasure principle and adopt the reality principle...Please trust me for the 1 last time... ok??? I know you are worrying..but Please don't feel disappointed on me...Maybe it will hurt myself but I just want my life to be No remorse..at least i hv tried my best... agree?? ( guess i'm gonna get scolded again... lolx )

In short, i just wanna be HAPPY like the above picture ---
the cute baby,my son....hehe....

Hey my friends.... 你会挺我的，对吧 ？ 一定要哦 ！！！
谢谢你们一直的支持与关心。。真的
Love you all...... muaksss...........xxxxxxxxxx

祝您父亲节快乐

小时候，总是喜欢和父母亲斗嘴，从来都没有顾虑到他们的感受。。。
犹记得，有一次还被鞭打得蛮严重地，一条条，细细地伤口清晰可见，
但是不服输又倔强的我还是忍住泪水。。。不哭就是不哭。。。
转眼间，爸爸的手上竟然拿着一瓶黄药水，心疼的眼泪在眼中打滚 ，哽咽地说道：“都跟你说不要整天跟父母亲顶嘴了，你还是不听。。。你看，看到你这样难道爸爸不会心疼吗？” 此话一说，我的眼泪即刻破堤而出。。。
我哭，不是因为皮肉上的痛而是看见爸爸心痛的眼泪而哭。。。
从那一次起，我就告诉自己不可以再让自己的父母亲为我而哭。

爸爸， 我疼爱的爸爸，
每次一定会把最好的留给我。。。
明明自己也很喜欢吃的东西，但只要孩子和老婆喜欢，就会立刻双手拱让。。。
爸爸， 总是负责吃孩子留下的渣滓，
他总是清茶淡饭，孩子却山珍海味
节省自己，把全部的 都花在孩子身上

中学时， 爸爸的颈项肿了起来需要动手术，
我人生中第一次无比的担忧，我不能失去爸爸
眼泪不停地流，彻夜辗转难眠，那时候的我以为是肿瘤
我感谢上帝，原来是 Goiter ( Hyperthyroidism : Grave's Disease )
我们全家人才放下心头大石。。。
（记载： 记得那时候在医院，看见很多病人在病床上,有些痛苦地伸吟着，有些痛苦得在床上翻来覆去挣扎着，那时侯的我真的觉得医院是一个很恐怖的地方，看着那些病人那么痛苦，心里真的很不舒服，想帮他们却又力不从心,只能眼睁睁地看着他们痛苦着。。。希望不久的未来，我真的能做到我所希望的）

虽然爸爸不是什么大老板，也不是社会名人
爸爸没有大屋，也没有名车
但却是人人眼中的好好先生。。。
我很骄傲因为我有一个那么好的爸爸

已经第三年了，
每逢母亲节，父亲节都无法跟他们庆祝。。。真的有点失落
爸爸妈妈，没有我在你们身边， 你们一定要好好照顾自己的健康

--------------------------------------------------------

游子的心声有谁能了解？
皎洁的月亮，
一个人的我在房间里Blogging，
心里的空虚，又有谁来安慰？

我只想说， 只有爸爸妈妈永永远远会为了你流下来的眼泪而感到心疼心痛
所以别随随便便再流泪了。。。因为爸爸妈妈真的会心痛
学习努力不再哭泣 因为我会为了爸爸妈妈的心痛而心痛。。。

人们都说爸爸就是女儿上辈子的情人。。。
空窗期了很久， 看见身边的朋友一个个的结婚生子，
总觉得这些幸福好像不会在我人生中发生。。。
幸福------ 它好像离我越来越远了。。。
我没事，毋担心，就让一切随缘吧。。。

今天与爸爸通电话， 我跟爸爸说:"如果以后我嫁不出,那怎么办?"
爸爸打趣说:"那不用紧啊...爸爸陪你一辈子..."
爸爸,你一定要长命百岁哦..... 等着你陪我一辈子...... 呵呵..... =P

My Nike Watch

03.03.06 , Gurney Plaza Nike Shop

.... The New Watch.... I'm so Happy ...

幸福的感觉溢满了我心头

13.06.09 , BaliGarden HoteL

It was jz happened suddenly whn i was swimming over there... I donno why... so So Unacceptable and ridiculous ! How can it be jz broken like that ???!!!!

bcoz of chlorine ? or juz bcoz it has been quite sometime i din't wear it and cause the rubber not tat elastic nemore ? or is jz time to say goodbye ?

If u asked me the Intensity of Heartaches.. I would said "Hurts a whole lot" wic is severe pain. Who can tell me... can it be repaired ??? If the nike shop charged me 100bucks for repairing... would u repair ??? But i still like tis watch so so much !!!!! oh GOsh !!! I love the design of tis watch and the meaning underlying it..... but now..... GONE ~

Guyz...gimme some opinion... I still like tis watch alotzzzzzz

14.06.09 , In my room Bali

I borrowed a synthetic adhesive Glue frm my friend and tried to fix it.. Obviously, it's impossible to jz fix it like tat..It's ugly i knew.. Juz STUPIDLY trying to make myself feel better.. ( laugh upon my stupidity )

It's just synonism with an interpersonal relationship ( no matter friendship or affection ), once rupture a friendship/marriage... it's very difficult to fix it bec and tend it well. Even it looked connected with the yellow glue... but still the scar is there, engraving on it and the bonding is jz too fragile to be broken again..

It's brutal for me to accept the truth.

Is there anyone who can tell me tis is not true ? Is there anyone who can tell me it can be fixed no matter how hideous the scar was ? Is there anyone who can tell me my perception, my point of view is absolutely WRONG ? It's just my pessimistic thinkin ? I hope it is....

I placed it bec to the box and it's looked like the NEW one.. Rite ? From the outward appearance, It's still nice and good bcuz it's jz superficial/surface... but whn u looked deeply and clearly into it, the cicatrix will disclosed/revealed in front of ur eyes vividly...

Frm now on, my Beloved Nike watch will be an adornment in my room FOREVER ....

原来在我身边的... ...

。。。保存期限 。。。

只有那么的... ...三年

风信子的故事 The Hyacinths

如果要让枯萎的风信子再开花

一定要把外面的生长物通通剪掉

这个道理很简单

就像励志书籍 不是有说过吗

“啊 愚蠢的人们 啊

为何总是对过去念念不忘　？

把已死的花朵留在身边

即对过去无法割舍

又没有办法迈向未来”

你说是不是很有道理呢　？

Grape Hyacinths

The Blue Hyacinths

－－败犬女王－－